Picking Yourself Back Up

There are times in life when you feel uninspired and everything feels like a chore. There are times when you feel you have lost touch with yourself and that you’re not on the right path anymore. You feel lost. You criticize yourself and feed yourself with the wrong foods, watch copious amounts of television, or play games with your phone to avoid the uncomfortable feeling that arises when you’re not living on purpose.

There are times that you remember, not so long ago, when you felt you were living on purpose. You felt empowered, inspired, organized. You worked on your projects and priorities every day and you could clearly see the design you envisioned for yourself, for your life.

Then there are the times when you realize that you needed the time out to rest and relax, to really listen to yourself. You realize you were in a cocoon – storing up your energy for the next stage of the design. Perhaps the design looks different now. Perhaps you have changed during your downtime. Things look different. You have learned something about yourself. Your recent lessons have now become a part of you. You are wiser, stronger. Fresh. Different.

Then there are the times when you drop anchor in the resting place and don’t get back up. You start to feel down. Inertia drew you in. Watching telly becomes a habit you can’t seem to break. So does lying – in regularly instead of getting up to exercise. Ordering takeaways instead of cooking fresh foods. Leaving the dishes in the sink until they build up. Turning down opportunities to grow because they feel too uncomfortable.

It feels so difficult to get back up again – but there will come a time when you can’t take it anymore. Trust that there will come a time when you are bored with your inertia. Will you be brave enough to pull yourself up to a standing position? That’s all you have to do first. Summon the strength, the energy to get up. Take a deep breath. Mentally, or out loud, say “Enough!”

Perhaps you will start by clearing away a small a bit of clutter in your nearest vicinity. Make your bed, open the blinds, perhaps a window, and then you will let the sunshine in, and feel the fresh air on your face. Breathing life back into you.

You might then decide you want to wash your face and brush your teeth, put some comfortable clothes on. And then you sit down – on the bed or on the sofa. You offer a prayer to the room, to God, to anyone who will listen. “Now what?”

You look outside the window, and in a hit of inspiration, you whisper “ a walk”. You pull on your trainers and head outside, and escape to your nearest bit of scenery, even if it’s only in your garden, on the street or in your village, but preferably a woods or some pasture. You feel the wind in your hair, on your face, your feet hitting the pavement. You notice the sound of the birds in the air and the blue of the sky. The smell of nature. And with each step, you start to feel alive again. Perhaps, still a little sad. Still a little confused and down, but you feel the stirrings in your soul, telling you that you will be ok. New beginnings await you. You feel a flicker of hope in your heart. You are becoming one with all that is, even if it is only for a brief time, you can feel the connection with a world that is bigger than yourself.

You get back home and put the kettle on. Make yourself a steaming hot cup of your favorite beverage, and sit down with it. In front of a beautiful notebook and a smooth pen. You write down three goals for yourself. Three baby steps to help you to get back on track. Baby steps that don’t involve the will of others.

What are they?

I hope you have fun with this exercise – if you need help deciding on your three goals and how to fit them into your life, feel free to contact me on my Facebook page for information about a session with me.

Love and blessings,
Lucy Loizou.

The Truth about Happily Ever After.

The run-up to my birthday this year has brought on some serious self-reflection. I am about to become 37. Another three years and I will be 40. I never thought my age would bother me, but I have come to the realization that somewhere, in the back of my mind, 40 is my adult number. The age at which I am to have it all together, to have achieved my success, whatever that would look like. When I realized I had three more years to reach this age, I started to realize that maybe, just maybe, I won’t live forever. I started to see my life as a timeline. Going back to the beginning and reliving moments, reliving times when I was just existing, relaxing, playing. Reliving times when I limited myself, not realizing my right to be here, my right to be happy in my own way. Living a life of people-pleasing and thinking that other people knew more than me and I was obligated to listen to their advice more than my own.

My exact thought was, shouldn’t I be well on my way to my own Happily Ever After by now? Shouldn’t I be sorted? We live a life of expecting this state of being sorted – knowing who we are, the perfect relationship, career, family, home so that we don’t have to worry about it anymore. A stage of stasis is perpetuated by children’s fairy tales, by the movies, and cartoons. Happily Ever After, and that is where the story ends.

What happened to Snow White, Sleeping Beauty – after the wedding? After the story ends? Is that the end of their yearning? Their sole purpose in life?

You might think I’m being cynical, but in this earthly life, in our time here, there is no happy ever after. There might be happier ever after, or pretending to be happy after. But things don’t just stop once you find the perfect career, the perfect home, the perfect family, friends, or social status. Well, – correction, for some people it does stop there, but not just because of some unforeseen illness or sudden death, but because they hold on to that space in time in a death grip that prevents them from growing and learning.

The truth is, Sleeping Beauty, five years into her relationship with the prince, probably discovered that her relationship needed work and went into journalling to or therapy, in order to learn how to communicate with him better. I mean, after sleeping all of those years, one would think that she needed space to find herself, to find out who she really is, and what she wants to do with her life. The prince may have though, goodness, who is this person that I woke up with a kiss? I love her dearly but I do long for another adventure – I want to rescue someone. You see?

The truth is, we are here to evolve and learn throughout our lives. Yes it feels great to reach a goal. Yes it feels great to reach a clearer understanding of yourself and life so far. But no, it doesn’t you mean you should risk changing everything you have accomplished for the chance of something that could be even more fulfilling for you. That you shouldn’t leave your place and level of learning, you shouldn’t challenge your outlook and ideals of life again. Life without change, life without growth, is stagnation. Is death. Slow, painful, soul-destroying death.

As we learn, as we grow, we change. We understand ourselves better. We get Divine guidance to work on new projects, meet new people. These yearnings, though they might feel scary, should be tested out and considered, not just ignored so we can stay in our comfort zone.

Please always stay open and listen to those beautiful inner whisperings, calling you to learn something new. Some new skills, some different ways of being, or a new healthier habit. Be open to the new friends that come your way, the new experiences, and opportunities that the universe brings to you. If you listen to your inner voice, and check it with common sense and a good plan, setting your intention and taking daily action, you will be living a life, not just an existing one.

So, why don’t you write a list of all of the ideas and thoughts of your inner whisperings? Write a journal, draw pictures or talk to a trusted friend about the new things you are learning about yourself, and choose which actions you feel would be the best to take on next.

Love and Blessings,
Lucy Loizou.