The Point Of Power

 

Personal power

I’m writing this blog post after having been awake since the wee hours of the morning. I have my incense lit and a hot black coffee on my nightstand. In my favorite sheets on my bed with the morning light streaming through the window. It’s about week 6 of lockdown for everyone. Week 7 for me as I got symptoms a week before the lockdown was instigated and had to self isolate. I believe it was just a cough but those are the rules. It’s been a rather strange experience for me. As I’m sure it has for everyone else. There have been several sides to me. The hopeful side. The motivated side. The apathetic side. The fearful side. I’ve visited every one of these states.

It is a very sad and uncertain time for all of us – so many deaths. So much isolation.So much financial worry. And then there’s the thought of “what if life is never the same again? What new normal are we heading towards?”

Now I love to have time to myself – it’s one of my most powerful ways to regenerate my energy. I have really enjoyed the freedom of using my time the way I like. There seems to be a recurring theme on social media and I’ve noticed it in my personal life too. A dichotomy between two expectations. A – this is an amazing opportunity for those who are well to use the newfound time to create the lifestyle that they always dreamed of. To make changes. To build something new. B – we are going through a traumatic experience and shouldn’t put pressure on ourselves. We need to give ourselves permission to feel unmotivated and do nothing if we need to.

Might I suggest that we can do both? Perhaps self-care is about knowing ourselves enough to listen to what we need and respond from there? It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation. A day of Netflix bingeing can be very healthy for a person who feels unsure and needs to process their feelings. Sometimes the healing, the inspiration, and the plan happen in the background while getting lost in the stories and drama of a really good movie or series. Other days, one might feel inspired to get lost in some creative past time – like painting or knitting. Or in a computer game. Those who know me well know that I am a huge fan of the sims!

What I am saying is that our service to humanity, the fulfillment of our life purpose, and the knowing that we have not come to the end of our lives with our music unplayed, comes from strengthening the relationship with ourselves. With our very own soul.

This means choosing how you spend your time and ensuring that’s authentically what you want to do at the moment. What makes you come alive? What activity gets you in a state where you are totally engrossed and time flies by without you realizing? What makes your soul sing? This may change from moment to moment. One hour it may be cleaning out a draw or organizing your home. The next it may be getting lost in a good book or going for a walk in nature. When you fill your own cup, you have the resources to serve humanity by leading the way to authenticity and shining your light brightly.

Basically, you do you, boo!

And know this – life may never be the same. We are all missing our families and people are suffering and the big scary and the fear feel very real and there probably is a genuine risk. Life is a cycle and suffering comes and goes. Wars happen, famine, natural disasters. This is not always in our control. But things always change. If they can change for the worse, they will certainly change for the better.

What is in our control? The way we live our lives and the difference we make in our own sphere of influence. My source of strength? The Divine Creator. The ultimate energy source that is benevolent and awaits your invitation to guide you in your highest good. How do you develop your relationship with yourself? Follow through with your promises to yourself. Pray. Meditate. Dance. Walk. Listen. Take action.

“The most important thing is to hold on, hold out, for your creative life, for your solitude, for your time to be and do, for your very life, hold on, for the promise from the wild nature is this: After winter, Spring always comes!”

Women Who Run With Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

Stay safe.

Love and blessings to you all,

Lucy Loizou

Image Credit:

Copyright: choreograph/123RF

Love

It’s taken me a long time to realise this, but love is not “nice”. Love is strong, dynamic, gut wrenchingly honest and fully present. Niceness doesn’t cut it anymore.

It finally hit home while I was sat watching Netflix all day. I decided to watch a Tony Robbins documentary – “I Am Not Your Guru”. I thoroughly recommend it for a form of entertainment while you learn about yourself at the same time. Anyway, he was trying to help a mother who had been letting her daughter be in control of the whole family, and she said to him that she was trying to bring peace to the family. He grabbed her on the top of the head and shouted, in true Tony Robbins style, that there is no peace in family. This, along with all the quiet reflective time I have taken of late, trying to understand my life lessons, really struck a chord with me.

Many people confuse niceness with kindness. However, if you look deep inside, niceness really implies that you want something from someone. You want to be liked – which is natural – we would all like to be liked. But doesn’t it feel incongruent? You are not being genuine when you are being nice. it is like a manipulation tactic, probably derived from child hood – if you are being “nice” you are following the rules and so your parents will love you and thus you will survive into adulthood.
It is bland. If someone tells me I am “nice” as a compliment, it doesn’t really feel like a compliment.

Kindness, on the other hand, comes from the heart. It is about easing the other persons suffering in a genuine way. This is what love is.

When you love someone, it is dynamic. You are invested in their highest good, and thus you are willing to let them feel uncomfortable for a while and hold them in that space if it means that they will come to a place of understanding and learn about themselves. If it will lead to their highest good, their living from their authentic self.

It means being blatantly honest with the people around you, and expecting them to be honest with you, because you are invested in them. It’s not about you anymore – it’s about both of you in relationship to each other.

If you are both living and loving from your authentic selves – you grow. You model healthy relationships to the world. You model genuineness, empathy, strength, unconditional positive regard. These are the core conditions for growth and healing that Carl Rogers posits – the father of person centred therapy.

To truly love someone, including yourself, you have to be strong. You have to risk not being liked for a while. You have to be honest about where you are at, what you feel about a certain situation, where your boundaries are, so the relationship – either with others or with yourself, can flourish and grow. So that you can be loved for who you genuinely are, and so that you can love the other person for who they genuinely are.

Being “nice” doesn’t even begin to cover this.

Here is to an amazing adventure through life where we all learn to love each other more and live from our authentic selves.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, so please do get in touch.

Wishing you all love and many blessings,

Lucy Loizou xxx